college 2.0

Dear Diane,

I MADE IT

here's a playlist to commemorate this

I'll keep this short but I want to address the murder-suicide in Prattville which has put one of our classmates front and center. I didn't personally know Mitch, but I recognized his face at school. I feel detached from the entire situation beyond discovering posts about him via Facebook.

There's something about Facebook and death that just doesn't seem to mix very well; it's as if suddenly a Facebook profile is transformed into a memorial page, which is so impersonal... and like you said, they come off sounding like yearbook comments ("I miss you!" and an impersonal "rip mitch" rather than "hags mitch" RIP IS EVEN AN ACRONYM and feels lazy and devoid of true sympathy). But beyond being simply a space for condolences to be publicly seen, it puts the person in question in the spotlight, and in this case, I can't imagine any good coming out of it. Two families are now in the process of grieving and trying to make sense of why this tragedy could possibly happen... but then so is Facebook. People have been posting news updates via his Facebook page, almost nonchalantly.

This case is particular because of the implications of how they died and the mystery behind why Mitch might have stabbed Wellesley, but two of my friends both learned of the death of a classmate through Facebook last semester. I remember one of my friends actually went to prom with the boy in question and the accident really tore her apart. I guess what it comes down to is the weird juxtaposition of pictures and posts commemorating him next to posts of memes and just now "I need to cut my nails" ... I need to start deleting friends.

Huffington Post addressed this problem, the fact 2.8 million people's Facebook profile outlives them. Facebook has recognized this and has provided the family the ability to change a profile into a commemorative page. But for those profiles that remained un-updated after death, people still post casual things like "happy birthday" without the knowledge of the person's passion. How fucked up is that? It's seriously symbolic of how Facebook may NOT be the right place for celebration or commemoration. I don't know though.

Huffington says that Facebook keeps the person alive, at least for a temporary amount of time following the person's death. But I hope the Warren family can make peace with his death and the same for the Owen family. I cannot imagine the grief and confusion they are all going through, and I imagine they are only beginning the process of grieving, beginning with denial. Facebook in many ways is good for this conversation, to imagine he is still alive and up and running. But eventually, I hope they can make peace with their deaths. I hope they can press stop and move on... and perhaps deleting their Facebook profiles can be a step to moving on, just as a family cleans an empty room of the deceased.

miss you already.
Elina