Call up to listen to the voice of reason, and got the answering machine

Ah Elina, your last post was too good to not respond to it (and sorry for the impersonal typing- but I think we all know the amount of misspelled words would have rendered a handwritten letter from me simply unreadable). I totally understand the feelings you expressed, but maybe not for the reasons you may expect.

You may remember that super shy, super awkward girl in ninth grade who had just moved back to Auburn. If I could have written a letter to myself, it would have sounded a lot like yours. How in the world would I find friends who understood me better than those friends who I had shared three years of my life with and who had lives just as weird as mine (living in Uganda, grew up in Africa, European parents, you can't make that stuff up)?

And the truth is, I didn't. I still think the memories and ideas I shared with those friends, could only come from those friends. Especially when I realized that the majority of people I met here literally thought that Africa was a country and thought I rode to school a lion. My friends knew a side to me that seemed unexplainable.

But when I found my niche here, I changed. You guys changed me, and I'd like to think that I changed you too. Most of the things we talk about (and that you mentioned in your letter), you introduced me to: This American Life... and Miyazaki... and, despite my aversion, Avatar. Suddenly my old friends didn't know me better, just differently.

I don't think I could overemphasize how much you, Mimi, Jojo and Lydia have influenced my life, but, perhaps it's consoling to know that friends aren't everything. There's something to be said for being yourself even when you're not readily identifiable with everybody-- I guess, like you said, that's the part about becoming an adult.  

So the best advice I can offer, is that when you feel yourself sinking into that all-consuming, heart aching need to connect- just remember to always be yourself (such insight, I know) but to look for new opportunities to expand your interests, and especially for you, Elina, expand your friends' interests <--you've got a special touch  for that. But most of all, don't hesitate to reach out to your old friends (but knowing me, it'll probably take more than one try to get my attention) to connect to your high school self.

Okay I just needed to get that out, still working on my actual post.

No comment on the punishment.

- D